LoVe Is WaY tOo DePrEsSiNg

Im finally updating..!:-P

2005-05-04T19:42:00.000-07:00

Im updating! YAYAYAYYAY!

owkay...still as playful as ever.. im updating the site once again after a looooonnnggg break!:-P I decided to update since im leaving for U.S this saturday, and i wont be back until the 4th of June.. sooo.. those who wants their pasalubong, you better comment and post on my tagboard..:-P

***

Hmmm.. Im kinda bummed out since i dont really want to go the the States, since im planning on taking Advanced Guitar and voice lessons.. :-( but my mum and brother keeps on pestering me every single day..so to avoid further annoyance, i decided to give in.:- Pathetic eh? But im kinda looking forward to seeing our relatives because they owe me a lot of presents already!!! * sama ko noh?** Im planning to buy the G310 Emily the Strange electric guitar..:-D Lets just hope my mum's sibling's agree to buy that for me as the payment for their "debts" :-P

ANYWAYS

i will be updating my other site too.. soo.. you better check it out too..:-) Click here for my other site, and please dont forget to post on my tagboard! thanks!!

btw, this is the picture of my "dream guitar"...

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Photobucket

2005-04-21T23:02:00.000-07:00

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

UPDATES!:o)

2005-02-25T19:41:00.000-08:00

yay! i am updating my site!!! wow! that is so unbelievable, thank you! heheheheheh! hmmm.. so just edited the nav bars, added the background music w/c is HE WASNT BY AVRIL LAVIGNE! my thanks to www.iwebtunes.com

hmmm.. so nothing much is happening to me lately *ahem!* i promise! nothing! nada! heheheheh!!! well.. maybe there's something.. but im not sharing!! ahahaha! toodles!!!

ill update again later!

just trying...

2005-02-25T03:42:00.000-08:00

NOTE: z

No smoking around miserablemaiden. Thankyou for your co-operation.

What a DepRessing day....

2005-02-09T22:25:00.000-08:00

** February 09, 2005 **
**10:16 pm**
**depressed mode**

this day?!??! this day is craaappppyyy!! honestly.... i think i've never been depressed like this...*oh wait!!! i have!! ^.^ hehehehh* sigh, its so hard to be the class mayor, especially if its our class... :(( its so brain wrecking!!! im so tired of being scolded without no reason at all!!:(( maybe all our teachers think that im a worthless, irresponsible scum!!:(( but i am not.... i admit, i have stopped caring about this class, due to the fact that they dont even care if i care, or i dont. sad isnt it? when i ask them to shut up, they would happily oblige....NOT! :( oh well...

what else?

hmmm... almost all of our teachers got mad at us today, i dunno..maybe there's something evil lurking out there in the corners of our classroom, since something bad is bound to happen everyday. oh wait. its just my freaking classmates. :D good thing i dont have any problem with the girls, since theyre very cooperative, but the boys? omg!!! i would have to plead, and plead, and plead for so many times before they comply to my request that they shut up!! geeezzzz!!!

anyways, i have to sleep, since i need my energy tomorrow for sureeeeee!!:D nyt nyt!!

lesson ive learned today: "jealousy is a green eyed monster." tell you the details soon. wahahha! nyt nyt!!

i promise

2005-01-23T13:15:00.000-08:00

"Promise"
Breakdown
I can't take this
I need somewhere to go
I need you I'm so restless
I don't know what to do
We've had our rough times
Fighting all night
And now you're just slipping away
Give me this chance
To make the wrongs right,
to say
Don't don't don't walk away
I promise
I won't let you down (you down)
If you take my hand tonight

I promise
We'll be just fine (this time)
If you take my hand tonight
Without you (I go through the motions)
Without you (it's just not quite the same)
Without you (I don't want to go out)
I just wanted to say
That I'm sick of these fights
I'll let you be right
If it stops you from running away
So give me this chance
To make the wrongs right, to say
Don't don't don't walk away
I promiseI won't let you down (you down)
If you take my hand tonightI promise
We'll be just fine (this time)
If you take my hand tonight
Take my hand
I promise
If you take my hand tonight
I won't let you down (you down)
Take my hand tonight
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
yay!! im back with a new layoutt!!! hehehehehhe!!!! i got tired of the other one.. so i looked for another... hmmm.. im quite sad, wont tell you why though.. mwhahaaha..

im with my mom and brother today... kinda pissing me off. they keep on talking as if im not there... sheez.. pathetic, they are... waahahahahh... anyways... that song up there is promise, by simple plan.. i kinda loved the lyrics, so there you go..:) ill be updating later, so watch out... wahahahahah!! toodlessss!!Ü

SHUT UP!!!

2005-01-14T22:41:00.000-08:00

There you go
You're always so right
It's all a big show
It's all about you
You think you know
What everyone needs
You always take time to criticize me
It seems like everyday
I make mistakes
I just can't get it right
It's like I'm the one you love to hate
But not today.
So shut up shut up shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out get out get out
Get out of my way
Step up step up step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say can change
You'll never bring me down
So there you go
You never ask why
It's all a big lie
Whatever you do
You think you're special
But I know and I know and I know
And we know that you're not
You're always there to point
Out my mistakes
And shove them in my face
It's like I'm the one you love to hate
But not today.
So shut up shut up shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out get out get outGet out of my way
Step up step up step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say can change
And gonna bring me down
Gonna bring me down.Will never bring me down.Don't tell me who I should be
Don't try to tell me what's right for me
Don't tell me what I should do
Cause I don't wanna waste my time
Watch you fade away
So shut up shut up shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out get out get out
Get out of my way
Step up step up step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say can change
And gonna me down
I don't wanna hear it
Get out get out
Get out of my way
Step up step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say can change
And bring me down
Won't bring me down
Won't bring me downBring me down
Won't bring me downShut up shut up.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Im back!! yay!!! heheheheh!!! hmm.. that was SHUT UP by simple plan!! i love you pierre!! wahahahah!! im in a.. uhmmm... weird mode tonight... kinda pissed of at a friend, or shall i say, ex friend? /:) sheez.. but i was playing with my hamsters..fluffy, and midnight, so...i got in the mood to be happy or shit..lol.. SHIT.. thats the word ive been using a lot lately... ehheehheheh!! hmmmm...

lots of things happened. i was about to go to Vietnam to join the Essay Writing Olympics of SEA schools * wat the heck is an ESSAY WRITING OLYMPIC?* but i wasnt willing, so... my mom will talk to my hs coordinator about me not joining!!

what else? hmmm.. my mom turned 55 last Sunday.... Jan. 9. then she got mad at me. how pathetic.

argghhh.. anyways... im sleepy. so im going to go to bed. muahahah.. toodlessss...!:0P

..:: interesting...::..

2004-12-31T23:21:00.000-08:00

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

http://www.quizdiva.net/bt/linguistic.jpg">>You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.
You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

..:: buwahahahhaahh ::..

2004-12-31T22:50:00.000-08:00

"Breaking The Habit"
Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again
[Bridge:]
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realizeThat I'm the one confused
[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much moreThan anytime beforeI had no options left again
[Bridge:]
I dont want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
[Bridge:]
I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one that fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends
[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
to show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I’m breaking the habit
Tonight

..:: a new miserable year for me... ::..

2004-12-31T22:42:00.000-08:00

happy new year guys...:)) take care!!Ü

..::....ive a right to be wrong....::..

2004-12-24T14:31:00.000-08:00

"Right To Be Wrong"
I've got a right to be wrong
My mistakes will make me strong
I'm stepping out into the great unknown
I'm feeling wings though I've never flown
I've got a mind of my own
I'm flesh and blood to the bone
I'm not made of stone
Got a right to be wrong
So just leave me alone
I've got a right to be wrong
I've been held down too long
I've got to break free
So I can finally breathe
I've got a right to be wrong
Got to sing my own song
I might be singing out of key
But it sure feels good to me
Got a right to be wrong
So just leave me alone
You're entitled to your opinion
But it's really my decision
I can't turn back I'm on a mission
If you care don't you dare blur my vision
Let me be all that I can be
Don't smother me with negativity
Whatever's out there waiting for me
I'm going to faced it willingly
I've got a right to be wrong
My mistakes will make me strong
I'm stepping out into the great unknown
I'm feeling wings though I've never flown
I've got a mind of my own
Flesh and blood to the bone
See, I'm not made of stone
I've got a right to be wrong
So just leave me alone
I've got a right to be wrong
I've been held down to long
I've got to break free
So I can finally breathe
I've got a right to be wrong
Got to sing my own song
I might be singing out of key
But it sure feels good to me
I've got a right to be wrong
So just leave me alone
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
oh yeah!!! heheheheheheh!! im feeling quite good today, seeing its almost christmas!! *yay!!* merry christmas guys!!Ü

Drama mode

2004-12-22T14:35:00.000-08:00

Duncan Sheik - Half-Life
I'm awake in the afternoon
I fell asleep in the living room
and it's one of those moments
when everything is so clear
before the truth goes back into hiding
I want to decide 'cause it's worth deciding
to work on finding
something more than this fear
It takes so much out of me to pretend
tell me now, tell me how to make amends
maybe, I need to see the daylight
to leave behind this half-life
don't you see I'm breaking down
lately, something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life
is there really no escape?
no escape from timeof any kind
I keep trying to understand
this thing and that thing,
my fellow man
I guess I'll let you knowwhen i figure it out
but I don't mind a few mysteries
they can stay that way it's fine by me
and you are another mystery i am missing
It takes so much out of me to pretend
maybe, I need to see the daylight
to leave behind this half-life
don't you see I'm breaking down
Lately, something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life
is there really no escape?
no escape from time
of any kind
come on lets fall in love
come on lets fall in love
come on lets fall in love
again
cause lately something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life,without you I am breaking down
wake me, let me see the daylight
save me from this half-life
let's you and I escape
escape from time
come on lets fall in love
come on lets fall in love
come on lets fall in love
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
wahhh... im being homesick eventhough im at home.. lol.. my miss my dad.... so much... wah! im in a drama mode today... my bro and i watched "what a girl wants" and i dunno.. it seems like that movie never fails to get me emotional or something. lol. pathetic i know, but i just remember my dad.... and in the movie, the " traditional father-daughter dance"? *sigh* its something i will never do.. waaaaaahhh! see... i am really emotional when it gets to my father! lol..

anyways...
that song is from the movie and my favorite song today.. i am in my "mukmuk mode" today.. wahahahahah........ anyways.. ill be updating again later, when my "mukmuk" phase stops.. aight? c ya!

..:: amazing ::..

2004-12-19T05:35:00.000-08:00

wow... this day is like.. so amazing.. i feel so happy.. yet i dunno why.. lol.. maybe, im just off my rocker of something.. lol..

anyways...

i was just wondering a while ago about some things and giving some hypothetis about them too.. i cant really answer them properly.. but i am giving some sort of reasons why..lol... and i thought i might as well post it here.. lol....

** why can't i ever be alone in school? its always me.. and some friend of mine.. its not that i dont like being with my friends, but i'd really love it if i get to have some quality time with myself .. sometimes, i want to be alone and stuff, mostly when i feel like im gonna have mood swings or something... but no. they're always there, and they always get my moody blows.... heheh.. i pity them for having me as a friend. lol.**

** why do i always get mood swings? mood swings. sudden change of feeling or emotion. thats something thats not so unusual with me..it happens everyday.. pathetic actually. a good day ruiner.. heheheh. perhaps the reason why i get this things is because i am never comfortable with everything, from me, to my surroundings... *sigh* i dunno. i just hate this things.**

** am i being real to people around me? or being true to myself? ....weelllll.. i know, im not being plastic to my friends or people around me, its just i keep on hiding things.. i dont want them to pity me once i tell them stuff about me. lol. being true to myself. totally. i hate you therese. lol. ahahah.**

anyways.. im kinda sick right now, literally. lol.. hehehe.. so im going to bed.

**poof**

..:: so shall i speak and taunt your very soul ::..

2004-12-19T05:31:00.000-08:00

i went shopping with my mum and my bro yesterday... i was carrying all their bags and stuff, and they weren't carrying anything! lol.. i was frowning all day, and heck, they didnt even notice...

sometimes i wonder why they treat me like that....? i know i have no right to complain, since they're older and stuff, and i have to follow them.. but puhleazzeee!!!

this type of treament started when my dad died. yeah. i have no dad. its very very sad i know.. everytime i walk around places and see dads with their daughter, i feel a sting of envy surge all thoughout me.. i dunno.. i feel very sorry for myself because i lost my dad at a young age * i was 7 by that time* though i know its not my fault. haha. i find myself living in the past all the time... *sigh* i know. i am very lame.

anyways...

i always feel so rejected. confused. alone. lonely. hurt. i dunno.. its seems like everybody around me has this mission of making my life a living hell.. or maybe i am just being too much of a paranoid... but still, it hurts.. i can't talk to anyone for they will never ever understand the pains i've gone, and am going through. *sigh*worse.. i am lost in an emotion i've never had an experience of. its so troublesome, and often confuses me. geez. i wonder why i hate myself this much.. wanna help me figure things up???

..:: MaideN of DespaiR::..

2004-12-19T05:25:00.000-08:00

greetings... ive been expecting you...*spooky effect*

i made a new blog 'cause i forgot the password to the other one.. (www.bloodstainedgal.blogspot.com). anyways... intro ulit...

**"i am a nobody.nobody cares.i am a girl that everyone thinks of as a pathetic wandering soul.they dont know one single thing about me, therefore, they dont have the right to judge me."**

**i was born on the UNfateful day of November 17, year 1990, thus making me 14 years of age. I have lived a life full of despair, yet, full of happiness. I am my own person. I have unique abilities and traits which sets me different among the wandering souls in this human race.**

** i have lots of friends. lots and lots of them.in one glance, it may seem that they know everything about me, but honestly, they don't. the "me" they see is just a mere figment of their own imaginations. No one knows me, the real me that is, except for myself.I honestly enjoy the good company of my good-natured friends. i can set free everytime i am with them, but they can't see whats in me. they only see me as a young, carefree girl who has no burdens in life, thus making them wrong. SO WRONG.**

** being in this shackled place which they call home is by far the worst torture i've ever been in. one hour here seems like eternity. i guess you see what i mean. i dont like being here. period.**

** i am born normally Thank God.. but am i to live my whole life abnormally?**

** am i gonna be like this forever? will no one understand me for who i really am? will they look past behind me, and overlook the fact that i am being tormented daily?**

** will i ever find happiness? **

**i guess since your reading this, you're willing to take part in my life sufferings...lol.. anyways, thanks.**

**LoVe Is WaY tOo DePrEsSiNg**